Do you stand in your own way to a better life? Do you create situations that will keep you from moving forward to receiving what you want? Do you just have 10 more pounds to lose and then begin eating all those off limit foods you told yourself you could have after you lost that weight?
Well, that’s called ‘self sabotage’. And that’s why there was no February blog. Yes, I stood in my own way and sabotaged what I wanted my future to look like. It had to do with my chosen life’s direction that seemed to interrupt every facet of my life. The problem is, we don’t always see it coming and we certainly don’t consciously plan on doing it; it seems to just happen. BUT, it doesn’t just happen. Why? I have been doing some reading about the why’s and how you can get past it….this is what I found out.
Self sabotage is any action that gets in the way of your intent. There are many ways we sabotage ourselves: procrastination, self medication, overeating, not eating enough, self worth, comparing ourselves to others, fear, conflicts from within that create self destruction.
Self worth seems to be a biggie. You feel you don’t deserve any success or happiness. One has a tendency to settle for what they can get rather than what they want in their business positions, partners, and maybe even friends because that is where they learned to feel comfortable. This stems from what you feel about yourself, having often been told throughout your life that you weren’t good enough. As women, I often think we are not allowed our full potential. We have to change that kind of thinking by training ourselves to think positive thoughts! Speak to yourself with positive words!
Allowing fear to guide you through your life is paralyzing. You become afraid and worried of what “might” happen and you stop the progress of moving forward…you feel powerless. This s probably one of the greatest obstacles to one’s personal success. The next time you feel afraid, ask yourself ‘Why?’ Are you in control or is the situation in control of you? Who/What actually runs your life? If you are in control, you can move forward and take care of whatever it is you need to do and the fear will dissipate. If the situation is in the lead, go back to the ‘Why?’ And stop worrying about it because how is that going to help you?
Some self saboteurs feel that deep down they simply don’t measure up. And? There is always going to be someone, somewhere in your life that knows or has something more than you. Here’s where your self worth comes in…..stop comparing yourself with others. You are one of a kind….feel that and know that. Look at the things that you already have and be thankful and grateful for them. Afterall, there may be someone who is looking at you and is feeling they don’t measure up to you!
And then there’s procrastination. These folks put off major projects and responsibilities until the last minute and then have to rush to get them completed. Or, they put them off long enough that the situation passes and then nothing needs to be done……until the next time! But, the opportunity has been missed. Some of these people excel in last minute performances, but have they done their best? Putting things off until another time may work for you, but in the long run, it really isn’t a very good habit to maintain because you will never know if you are moving forward on your best foot or just standing still in your own shadow and accepting. The best solution I read was to block off specific times on your calendar and begin your projects earlier. Give yourself earlier deadlines.
Looking into the mirror, I had a chat with my sabotaging self. I told her I realized she was keeping me from moving forward because ….she was protecting me. I told her I no longer need protecting because I’m not afraid of whether I’m doing something right or wrong, good or bad. So I gave her some options of either leaving, going back to Spirit, or coming along with me for the ride because it was going to be a good one! She hasn’t responded, but I DO feel in control of my life now……